For a long time, I detested New Year’s Eve. There was always so much pressure to dress up, go out, be happy, and celebrate. But I never enjoyed squeezing into packed bars with overpriced cocktails — and I definitely didn’t like the following day’s hangover. And the times I didn’t have plans, I felt like, well, a loser — like everyone was traveling or partying except for me.
If you can relate, we’re far from the only ones. “New Year’s Eve is often associated with celebration — gathering crowds, champagne popping, and so on — but so many people have complex or outright negative feelings about it” Matt Sosnowsky, a psychotherapist and founder of Philadelphia Talk Therapy, says. For some, staying in can trigger feelings of loneliness or anxiety about not doing (or being) enough. And because New Year’s Eve marks the passage of time, it can also stir up regret about the past year or uncertainty about the future.
With all that emotional baggage, you might be tempted to opt out of the festivities entirely. I’ve been there — and by there, I mean in bed at 11:45pm, questioning all of my life choices. But here’s the thing: No matter the reason you hate NYE, approaching the day with a little intention can make it less hellish and maybe even — dare I say it? — fun. So if you typically dread December 31, stick with me. There are a few ways you can salvage the holiday, no glitzy outfits or exclusive tickets required.
Draft a list of this year’s wins — whatever that means to you.
Many people use NYE to think about what they want out of the year ahead, making big resolutions and setting lofty goals. And while some find that motivating, it can leave others feeling like they’re falling short before the new year even begins. “There’s this tremendous pressure to think about what you should be doing or what you haven’t accomplished,” Sosnowsky says.
To counter this, Sosnowsky recommends whipping up a list of highlights from the past year. As you do — maybe in a journal, notes app, or voice note — don’t get tripped up on flashy accomplishments. Sure, you can include that big professional milestone you reached, but small moments that brought you joy or made you proud are worth including, too. Maybe you were there for a friend who needed support, finally stopped snoozing your alarm (just me?), or set boundaries with a toxic family member. And if you faced adversity? Give yourself credit for that, too. “Life is hard, so if you successfully navigated a move or made it through a break-up, that’s worth recognising,” says Sosnowsky.
If you’re stuck, try perusing your photos, texts, emails, or calendar to jog your memory. The point is to appreciate and celebrate what’s already good — not mull over what you want to change in the year ahead.
Plan an activity you’ll actually look forward to.
I’ve found that one of the biggest issues people have with NYE is that they feel forced to go out and stay up late (a la me in that crowded bar) or bummed if their only plan is to hang at home (and doomscroll as everyone else lives it up). My friend Jackie, for example, has long felt like there’s this unspoken pressure to have big, exciting plans to ring in the new year. So, finally fed up with always feeling disappointed, she decided to use the holiday to practice self-care. Now, instead of stressing over what other people are doing, she treats herself to a spa treatment like a massage or facial.
