In this op-ed, Features Director Brittney McNamara examines Betty Who’s recent comments about Reneé Rapp’s sexuality.
It’s been a big bisexual summer for a lot of celebrities, and their dating habits have, rightfully, made some waves. In June, Jojo Siwa, who previously identified as a lesbian, made her relationship with Big Brother UK costar Chris Hughes public. That same month, queer singer Fletcher announced that she had a boyfriend alongside a song called “boy.” With these revelations, many questioned both the aesthetic shift that came along with the identity change and the way they chose to talk about their sexualities. Some of the discussions reckoned with how we can simultaneously understand that sexuality can shift and be cautious about playing into homophobic ideas — like the ever-present myth that lesbians just need to “find the right man” to be straight.
Musician Betty Who — who identifies as bisexual and queer and is married to a straight, cis-gender man — recently weighed in on this discourse on Mallorie Glownke’s podcast, Made It Out. Spoiler alert: it didn’t go well. In tackling how Siwa’s queer identity is still valid even if she dates straight cis men, Who brought Reneé Rapp into the conversation, making a comment that many have interpreted as lesbophobic.
“A huge part of queerness is identifying yourself and putting yourself under the alphabet mafia,” Who said. This clip of the interview has now gone viral on TikTok. “Like ‘Which one are you?’ and ‘If you change that, I will never forget it!’ As much as it’s funny that Reneé Rapp is like, ‘You’ll never catch me dating a man.’ It’s like, ‘Go off, queen! I love that for you.’ But I also hold space for her in 10 years if she goes, ‘Oops, I met the love of my life and it’s this man, I didn’t mean to.’ It’s like, that’s okay!”
It is, of course, okay if Rapp decides to date a man someday, but that’s not really for anyone to speculate. Rapp has been clear that she identifies as a lesbian (an identity she’s had to defend in the past), and she’s discussed how difficult it was for her to publicly claim that label. Previously identifying as bisexual, Rapp came out as a lesbian in 2024 on SNL, opening up to them about her fear that the bi community would be upset with her. And, some people were upset. Rapp responded to those questioning her identity in an Instagram live, and she was clear that she’s an out and proud lesbian.
“Did you not f*cking hear me when I just said I’m a lesbian? When I said I’m a big, bad, f*cking lesbian?” Rapp said. “Here’s why I’m f*cking pissed: You are the reason that people in our community don’t feel safe coming out and changing and evolving.” Rapp explained that growing up in the South made it difficult for her to realize her sexuality, which is why people questioning it when she did come out stung even more.
