We don’t always give ourselves the same love we give to others. While you may find yourself using your love language to shower your other half or your bestie with appreciation, chances are, you rarely grant yourself the same treatment. Say your love language is words of affirmation — you probably make an effort to heap praise and words of encouragement on your partner. Meanwhile, your inner voice might be pointing out your own flaws and mistakes every chance it gets. Or, if your love language is gift giving, you may splurge on a luxurious present for your loved ones, only to deny yourself any indulgences.
Well, what if you made a point of using your love language on yourself, not just on others? According to relationship expert Jessica Alderson, it could be transformative for your self-care. “Incorporating your specific love language into your self-care routine is a powerful way to nurture your relationship with yourself,” she tells GLAMOUR. “It’s a way of showing love and care to yourself in a way that truly resonates with you. Just like using love languages with other people, being intentional about how we express love to ourselves can have a huge impact on our mental and emotional well-being. It fills up your cup and allows you to show up for yourself in a more loving, compassionate way.”
What are the five love languages?
First thing’s first — what are the five love languages again?
1. Words of affirmation
A person whose love language is words of affirmation values written or spoken expressions of love from others and likes to give them the same works in return.
2. Physical touch
People who value physical touch as a love language feel most loved when they can give and receive physical signs of affection.
3. Acts of service
Always doing things for the people you love — and love having things done for you? Your love language may be acts of service.
4. Quality time
People who have quality time as a love language value nothing more than simply making time for the other person.
5. Receiving gifts
Always buying little treats for your loved ones? Or, do you find yourself swooning when your partner surprises you with an unexpected gift? Your love language is probably receiving gifts.
Why using your love language in your self-care is so important
So, how can using your love language on yourself change your wellbeing? Well for one thing, loving yourself can be powerful — not just for you individually, but also for you within your relationships.
“Not only does it help to build a deeper connection with yourself, but it also enables you to build stronger relationships with other people,” Alderson says. “When you’re able to show yourself love in a meaningful way, you’re better equipped to receive it from others. Many people have blocks when it comes to receiving love, and by consistently speaking and treating yourself in your own love language, you can break down those barriers and open yourself up to a deeper sense of connection with others.”
