Love Island spoilers ahead.
When we talk about ‘the ick’, we tend to talk about getting it rather than giving it. Over the past few years, “I’ve got the ick!” has become a standard phrase in the world of dating — an easy, short form way to explain that feeling we all get when something cringes us out to the point of no return.
Most of us understand the ick to be a gut feeling that crops up due to something that seems fairly innocuous — perhaps a bad habit or an annoying comment. But once you’ve got the ick, it’s become widely accepted that it’s impossible to shake. Whether you can explain it or not, the other person has made you feel icky, and there’s no going back. The relationship is doomed. As Urban Dictionary puts it, “you THINK you like them but then you suddenly catch ‘The Ick’. From then on you can’t look at the person in the same way, you just progressively get more and more turned off by them, weirdly & maybe for no reason in particular grossed out by them.”
According to relationship and dating expert Sophie Personne, the ick has become more prominent thanks to dating shows and social media. “The term has just become part of our culture, especially amongst younger people – but it’s also spreading to the older generations,” she says. “The nature of these shows, Married at First Sight or Love is Blind being two good examples, where couples don’t know what each other look like, means that there’s a higher likelihood of not finding the partner physically attractive. It reinforces the idea that certain behaviours will trigger the ick or be red flags.”
Many would connect the ubiquitous ick with the Love Island dictionary. Although the term was undoubtedly known and used before, it was Olivia Attwood who brought it firmly into public discourse during the 2017 series. “At the end of the day, when you’re seeing a boy and you get ‘the ick’, it doesn’t go. It’s one of those things, once you’ve caught it, it takes over your body… it’s just ick,” she said – and the rest is history.
In 2020, numerous women on Love Island proclaimed they had got the ick about their various partners. Leanne, for instance, was turned off by her partner’s over attentiveness. “Now everything he does annoys me…” she said, “I wanted to catch feelings…” But, no, she caught the ick. Her fellow contestant Sophie wisely chimed in, “You can’t go back once you’ve got the ick.” As GLAMOUR‘s Marie-Claire Chappet pointed out at the time, it seemed that women were more prone to catching the ick than men — perhaps because women are conditioned to distrust kindness and softness in men.
Another GLAMOUR writer posited that (straight) women have a sort of innate understanding of the ick – because it tends to crop up when we sense a red flag in a straight man. And yes, sometimes the signs may seem innocuous, but are, in fact, “valid and normal reasons to not want to date someone.”
